Something about me, something about you
I was getting my hair cut last week and found myself at one of those “inexpensive hair cut” places where they herd you in and out like cattle.
The woman that was available was someone I wasn’t particularly attracted do (personality wise) when she cut my hair last year.
But, since she was the only available, I was destined to have to suck it up.
“Hi, I’m Rachael, and I’ll be cutting your hair today.” She said as if we never met.
I just looked at her and was like. “Come on, you’ve cut mine and my son’s hair at least three times each.”
She did’t talk much, maybe that was the problem. And clearly, when she did pay attention (which was rare) she didn’t remember the most important thing.
Me….
I figured because she didn’t talk much I had a hard time reading her which, caused me to not enjoy the experience.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s not that she didn’t do a good job cutting my hair, but I didn’t just go to get my hair cut. I went in to feel better about myself as well.
In short, I went in there to be cared for just like we all do.
But when someone doesn’t do the talking, or ask the right questions about what you want, it’s a sign you may not be cared for.
However, that changed today.
Today, she talked.
Of course, at this point I already knew everything I could know about her because I was the one who engaged her in conversations during prior hair cuts.
She likes romance novels, and doesn’t seem to communicate with her husband very well.
That’s all I knew.
But today was different. Today I decided to keep an open mind and allow myself to enjoy the experience.
So, once again, I did the talking.
But guess what? She had something to say in return that threw me entirely off guard.
Turns out that she’s been working on personal growth and how to make people happy.
“Wow, it’s about time.” He thought to himself sarcastically…
Instantly we connected. We talked about what she had been learning, and what she thought was missing from the perspective of her people skills.
“I’m not seeing the good in people.” She said. “And it makes me bottle it all up and stay quiet.”
How, progress…..
“But now I look for that, you know, the good things.” She continued.
As she cut my hair, I told her that I could show her how to make more money cutting people’s hair.
Of course, she asked how.
“It’s simple”. I said.
“You look for anything to connect with.”
I then look her up and down and finally at her fingers. What I noticed were absolutely beautiful nails.
They were shiny clear at the cuticles, then faded into a foggy white mid way down, and the tips were angled with beautiful gold speckled polish.
I told her if I would have brought that up, we would have moved into more connections as I shared with her the smiley face painted on my right big toe. (True story, Olivia did it.)
The point was to observe people for the sole purpose of complimenting them. Within a split second I could tell what everyone in the room had as an asset for her to make a connection.
The 50 year old overweight male with the Adidas pullover. (Clearly into sports, but based on his clothes vs his body shape either a coach or a fan.)
The 20 year old kid with the DC shoes with the laces undone, a minecraft shirt and a full beard. (Clearly a nerdy type who was working hard to tell a story about himself as well.
And don’t get me started on people with tattoos… those are the easiest and can bring up some amazing conversations.
The point, was to bring up something about the other person that could lead into a conversation. And yes, a compliment was the easiest way to fulfill that.
But sincerity, yes, sincerity, was the most important thing in the world.
You can’t get people to like through flattery, just so you can profit.
It must be mutual, respectful and sincere, or they’ll notice your insincerity and it’ll backfire.
The moral of the story was that she got a nice tip, I left happy (haven’t even looked at my damn hair yet) and we talked about things that could improve both our lives.
Oh yeah, one last thing I left her with.
“I’m a writer too, but you knew that.” I said.
“I’ll share my book with you when it’s finished later this month.”
Boy, I wonder if she’ll remember that conversation…..
Image Credit Elvert Barnes
