The Addiction of Caring
He was only 12 years old when it happened.
They were walking through the woods and his brother never saw the downed power line.
Within seconds, he was gone.
I remember coming home from piano lessons with my mother and seeing the police, fire trucks, and ambulances surrounding the other side of the road. I had no idea what was going on.
As the days progressed, the story become clearer and clearer.
But it’s how it became clear that I remember the most.
Jokes.
Yes, Goddamn jokes about how Daryl’s brother was electrocuted before his very own eyes.
Jokes about how he could see him smoldering in the dark, how his last moments were dancing like Michael Jackson as the volts surged through his young body.
And trust me when I say this, the jokes served only the vanity of the ones who shared them.
Death is all around us.
Darkness is all around us.
But altruism, true altruism, that’s a currency most of us neglect to ever take the initiative to earn.
We go through our days with little compassion for those outside of our own lives.
Or let me put it this way.
We have little compassion for those who do not support our immediate well-being.
Yes, the emotional chemical system within the brain that keeps our happiness (or comfort) in check.
It’s all about one addiction to the next in order to feel less, stay safe, and remain comfortable.
“Oh, my prayers are with you.” We say and then move on without a second thought.
But most of the time, these are just words. And they are for us alone…
They could easily be replaced with “Thank God it wasn’t me.”
And you know what? That’s okay too.
The part that’s not okay, is that we make rules around our feelings as if certain physiological controls were’t already in place.
It’s called survival.
Feeling sorry for someone else (or just saying you are) has become a battle within the measurement of the chemical warfare between self preservation and selfless altruism.
Being there, taking action, that’s moving beyond the chemical addiction of self-service towards the reality of altruism.
But not all of us can do that.
Sometimes we can’t be there.
The point is to understand and accept the truth of who you really are during the process of supporting someone you love.
Face it. In the grand scheme of things, we are all a part of each other. But to live within the “feeling” of duality, we must have a good balance within the chemicals inside our heads, and the actions within our hearts.
So the real question is this.
How do you make others feel?
And if you make them feel good, how does that make you feel in the process?
Image by John Christian Fjellestad