The Fear of Forward
With every new year there are new ideas, new hopes, dreams, and of course, worries.
Looking back over the last (almost 8) years. I can’t help but to see a pattern within myself. With each new program, song, lecture, post, or story, I feel as though I’m standing on top of a mountain wondering which way it will take me.
In one direction, I move forward towards financial, emotional, and spiritual fulfillment. The other, I fall back to where I began wondering where it all went wrong.
Knowing my work has no template makes the wondering harder to stomach.
“Do I continue with what works? Or, do I try to branch out and evolve Tessera?”
This is a question I ask myself every day and, it’s one that involves a whole lot of soul searching, perseverance, as well as courage, to answer.
However, there is one gift you have given me that helps me through this process.
The perspective of hindsight through the reflection of our work together.
Looking back always helps me to look forward, even in our turbulent and ever-changing times.
So, I am here to say thank you for allowing me yet another year to branch out and evolve Tessera. Without you, I would be making the same mistakes over, and over, again.
With you, Tessera will flourish.
You mean the world to me.
PS A little of what’s to come…
Your evolving approach has helped me accept the present but keep moving forward into the future. Both are essential. I do not think I can have true growth without acceptance. New perspectives are always welcomed and you never disappoint in this area. Here’s too another insightful year!
Thank you Chuck. As I said before, your reflections mean the world to me.
Here’s to the future!
You have helped bring me hope and to never give up. Thank you, Joy
Thank you Joy. I’ll do my very best to continue this tradition.
Thank you for going forward and having the courage to leave the well known path, exploring and following the call, helping to expand the conciousness. I wish you and your family all the best for the coming year.
And I wish the same for you and yours Monika.
Thank you for continuing the journey with Tessera.
Looking back over the past year, I am excited to see changes in my own life that I consider breaking cycles of repeating mistakes. I can directly attribute some of those successes directly to your work, Adam, and to what I have learned from the folks in this special community. I’m so thankful for your courage to grow, teach and share. Can hardly wait for what the future holds!
Fan of the story “Arrow”
And thank you for your continued support Angela. It means the world to me we can continue forward with Tessera. I have a very special year planned!
I’ve had an interesting and frustrating experience this week and reading back over your post shed light on it all! I spent a lot of time on Friday applying for a position I would consider a bit of a “dream job” right now because it would start me down a completely different career path.
Following all of the recommendations for a successful job search, in my cover letter I said I would call on Thursday to follow up with the company. Throughout the day on Wed and Thursday I had a consistently nagging feeling that I was missing an appointment… something very important! I went back over my calendar and my job search records and talked with my husband a few times….what am I missing!??
Today, as I read this post, I realized what it was. Something in me blocked that very important task no matter how hard I looked for it. If I was the employer, I wouldn’t hire me if I didn’t follow through on a stated target. What is it inside of me that worked so hard to keep me from that task? Fear? Feeling unworthy? Did a conversation about my physical ability to meet the requirements of a job I don’t even know all the details about yet cast the doubt and toss up that block?
With the power of hind sight, though it is far less than perfect, I can track such important tasks much tighter, I can acknowledge the subjective and incomplete knowledge about the job details and make certain conversations won’t let the ego take control of my memory and my visions of possibility. I can bring that job prospect into Tessera and envision the success, the feelings of success, a great interview, and the possible motives and perspectives of the interviewer. I can apply the principles I’ve learned already about altruistic exchange that mutually benefits all parties. Those things should help keep a clear mind and memory for future success. or at least be a distraction to the ego for messin’ with my schedule!
I appreciate every insight you share, Adam. I appreciate that you keep teaching and learning and that you are willing to help learn along with you. This article, the teaching sessions over the past few years, the discussions and observations… they are all helpful for looking forward and keeping on a path less hindered by fear.
I appreciate what you’ve said, and more so your personal experiences and reflections.
As you know (personally), I’ve been working on a new direction for Tessera. As I continue to move forward in the dark (which prompted me to write this post), I uncovered how wonderful it is to have a solid reflection of the things I can’t see. Furthermore, the real beauty of Parallel Awareness is seeing things in the future as if they were the past.
My birthday was the 6th, and I own three cars. Two of them have new tabs for the plates, that I put on just before Christmas, but for one of the cars I decide to hold off until I returned from FL on the 4th. Well, I somehow lost the tab for the plate for that car. (I paid $150 to renew it online and they mailed it to me mid Dec.)
Over the last week Jen and I have been going through every inch of the house trying to find the lost tab, to no prevail.
So today, I was working in the studio and looked over towards the trash. The first thing I thought was,
“No, there’s no way I’d throw it out.”
Regardless, I began the search, finally reaching the bottom of the trash can.
Note: The studio trash is always nothing but papers and the occasional (or more than occasional) wine bottle.
As I could clearly see the bottom with little left in the can, I gave up. In that very moment I paused and imagined myself in the future coming up empty handed. However, I also felt the guilt of not going through absolutely everything in the trash, so I dug in once more to may absolute certain the tab wasn’t in there.
You guessed it. Resting on the very bottom of the trashcan was the torn Secretary of State envelope with the registration and tab still in it unharmed.
Moral of the story is two-fold.
1. Perseverance pays off.
2. Being able to see into the future (even if it’s not 100% accurate), can pay off even more.
Welcome to the club!
In celebration and with gratitude for that still small voice nudging us along and knowing that we have the power to change that future…. I’ll raise a glass of wine to the next one you are enjoying in your office and offer a hearty AMEN!! and Congratulations!
*** Happy Birthday Adam!!! ***
Since you started your new year of life perfectly by listening to your inner voice and taking successful action, I think we can safely assume your future is going to be absolutely amazing and filled with adventure!!
May your find many wonderful blessings!
Thank you Angela! WE have an exciting future. And a new journey begins in a few days on Feb 1st! Stay tuned!