(The following is a fictional chronicle series based on the work and experiences of Tessera. Please read the reflection below for more details.)
For years, I’ve sought it out.
It’s calling for me to surrender.
In waking life, it’s the light we work so hard to harness, to engage with.
The positive resolve of having clarity, abundance, love, and success.
But when we’re alone, when we seek nothing, no purpose, no understanding, it’s the prevailing contrast of the dark, that beckons us all.
So today, I follow its path.
It calls to me to share a story within a story.
A story that is so deep, so hidden, it seems not to exist at all.
This is a bore to the ego, but it is essential.
The darkness tells me that there is something we are missing, something we have forsaken, and falsely judged out of existence.
I listen closely.
But there is nothing.
Darkness seems to come with silence.
There is no control here, no choice, just the need for awareness.
So, I listen even more closely.
Maybe that’s the point.
Maybe surrender is the only option.
So, I surrender.
At first my mind races telling me I’m wrong, that I must struggle, that I must fight the insatiable pull of the darkness’s silence.
Then, something from the darkness shows itself.
Is it moonlight? The ocean? An animal? God?
My first instinct is to seek clarity outside of myself.
The Internet, books, something or, someone, to tell me what I’m seeing.
But I remain in surrender, I do not move.
Then, sleep comes.
This is when the darkness shows itself the most.
It’s not a number, it’s not a word, it’s not a sign.
It’s not what the light has programmed us to see.
Without words, it shows me a form. Something that in waking life, I cannot witness with opened eyes.
It shows me that the viewer is the scenery within the realm of darkness.
It shows me that looking outward from self, can never witness the duality within the darkness, for there is none.
The darkness is us. You, me, our environment, and our loved ones.
It is the whole, the absolute of zero.
Darkness cannot see darkness, for it is one and the same.
To become the darkness, is to become complete.
When I awaken from sleep, I look upon a world that projects back its light.
I open my eyes, see the sunlight breach through the clouds.
Now within the light, I look upon my environment and my story is reborn.
Every night, I surrender to the darkness and become one.
Every morning, my story is re-birthed by the light that echoes within my mind.
This entry is the beginning of something far more powerful than can be expressed with words alone.
The truth of life, death, and the thereafter, is just the beginning of the human experience.
Currently, we believe through the beliefs of others.
We live through the lives of others.
Fictional, or real.
But to experience something you cannot see, feel, or touch, is something else far greater.
I believe it’s time that we seek out the greatest of positive experiences, but with eyes that don’t try to see just themselves, or themselves through others.
The proverbial “He who dies with the most toys wins.” is certainly a profound statement to the ego.
But it’s not about toys that the heart seeks within the physical sense.
The experiences, not just the physical ones, but also the mental and memorable accomplishments, are the chemicals that the brain seems so desperately in need of harnessing.
The saying should be “He/She who dies with the fullest of hearts wins.”
And if you want a full heart, you cannot deny the darkness if you want to magnify the light.